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Is It Spring Already?
We’ve all spent 2020 at home and made a mess of things while doing so. Fear not. It’s Spring season. Time to get your annual deep clean on and let’s face it, Spring cleaning is a chore. You don’t get paid for it and it takes hours to complete. But the rewards are great. Is there anything better than a clean home? Fresh sheets? An organized closet? A color-coded bookshelf? OK, we’re getting carried away?
Maybe you’re not Martha Stewart, but if you were, what would you Spring clean? Better yet, if you were Snoop, how would you clean? Just as you’d expect — we all have our priorities but can still agree —there’s nothing more important than a beautiful home and an organized stash. A little bit Martha. A little bit Snoop. That’s YOU, right? That’s US, too!
So, let’s get strategic and ask a few questions. For starters, what would Martha clean? Martha’s a list gal. Thoughtful and efficient. Pragmatic and perfect. Nobody makes a “to-do” list like Martha. Let’s take a look at how Martha might approach her Spring cleaning. Ready to make a list? Don’t sweat it; we’ve already created one for you.
But wait, this is LAKE GRADE, so Snoop’s here too. What would Snoop clean? Our guess is Snoop’s approach is a little more creative than Martha’s. Perhaps he’d start by lighting up some Sativa to keep him on point. A focused, energized, and social strain like Lemon Sour Diesel will do the trick. Ah yes, that’s better. Then tee up his favorite mixtape before getting busy.
While Martha and Snoop may have their individual priorities, we can all agree that a clean house AND a clean stash kit are essential. Starting off with the right cleaning supplies is vital — and that includes your weed.
Supplies
Before you get started, make sure you have all the right home-cleaning supplies. Recommended are natural baking soda, white vinegar, and castile soap — all essentials you can use to create safe, effective cleansers for nearly any type of cleaning. A microfiber mop or plant-based sponge will clean almost all surface types; and are machine-washable, making them eco-friendly.
For cleaning glass and ceramic pipes and bongs, make sure you have a sealable plastic bag (repurposed we hope), paperclips, cotton swabs, isopropyl alcohol, coarse Kosher salt (sodium chloride), and/or Epsom salt (magnesium sulfate). To round out your quiver, pipe cleaners — and a toothbrush — are perfect for scrubbing glass, ceramics, metal, and other durable materials to make smoking accessories.
Perhaps as important as your cleaning supplies is your flower selection. Not just any strain will do for this type of heavy lifting. Selecting the right strain (or strains) for Spring cleaning is key — and may make the difference between completing the job or not. We suggest going with an uplifting LAKE GRADE Sativa to give you sustained focus and energy.
Strategy
Now that you have all the recommended home and stash cleaning supplies ready, you’ll need your cleaning strategy and tactical plans. Once you’ve decided what you’ll be cleaning, be sure to create a realistic schedule and focus on one task at a time, keeping in mind that a single weekend might not be enough. You’ll need several days for more involved cleaning, such as shampooing carpets. Let’s talk strategy.
- Work Top-To-Bottom
- We recommend working top-to-bottom. Whether from your attic to your basement or from your ceiling to your floor, common sense tells us to work with gravity — not against it.
- Break Large Tasks Into Small Tasks
- We’ve found it’s easy to get overwhelmed and distracted when deep cleaning your entire home. Instead of focusing on the whole project, we suggest tackling one area or room at a time — be it your closet, your bedroom, or your refrigerator. We get it, organizing your stash box seems daunting, but hang in there.
- Reward Yourself
- Setting goals and rewarding yourself for achieving them is something to be proud of. If you’re the type of person who’s more likely to complete a task knowing you’ll be rewarded after you’ve finished it, then perhaps allowing yourself the freedom to take a few hits after completing each task is the right approach.
- Get Jiggy With It
- Find some tunes to keep you moving, or a great podcast to help inspire you. You’ll be done cleaning before you know it!
Tactics
Let’s get tactical, shall we? Ever so practical, starting at the top and working her way down here’s what we believe Martha would clean and how she’d go about it:
- The Wipe Down
- As smoke wafts, it eventually reaches your ceiling with nowhere else to go. This means Spring cleaning should involve a deep clean of your ceilings. Pay special attention to the ceilings in the rooms in which you smoke most often. Use an extendable duster to dust your ceiling fans, lighting, and any other hanging fixtures. Dust and clear the air vents. Use a mixture of water, baking soda, white vinegar, and castile soap with a microfiber mop or plant-based sponge to clean most large surfaces including your ceiling and walls. Be sure to clean a small, inconspicuous test area first.
- Where There’s Smoke, There’s Fire
- And if you’re smoking inside, please change the batteries in your smoke detectors (this should be done twice a year), and ensure the detectors are dust-free. Always have a fire extinguisher in your home and make sure those who live with you know how to use it.
- It’s Curtains For You
- One of the best ways to get the smell of weed out of the house during Spring cleaning is to run them through the washer and dryer. Depending on the fabric of your curtains, you may be able to wash them by simply tossing them in the washing machine on the delicate cycle. If your machine doesn’t have one, use the cool wash on a slow spin. Put them in the dryer on the air-only cycle or hang them outside to dry. Rehang them inside as soon as they’re dry to prevent wrinkling.
- Chill Dude, Chill
- Hopefully, you’re already cleaning the shelves of your fridge regularly, but Spring cleaning means deep cleaning. Toss out any expired food and leftovers (we know, those late-night Taco Bell runs were tempting) you know you’re never going to eat. To remove bacteria and grime, remove the door bins and shelves, and wash them in hot, soapy water. Wipe down the inside and outside of your fridge with watered-down bleach
- Dusty & Musty
- No, these aren’t mythic twin brothers, rather they’re what your home is after a year (or more) without a deep clean. Now’s the time to dust hard-to-reach places including the tops of ceiling fans and window casings. Don’t forget your shelves, books, trophies, and lava-lamps. All of it. And remember, work from the top of the room down, vacuuming the dust that settles on the floor. Opening the windows will help after you’ve dusted and vacuumed.
- Upholstery Beat Down
- Be sure to take your cushions outside and gently beat them by hand to remove any dust and crumbs. Check the cushions for their care labels before cleaning. Use your vacuum’s upholstery and crevice tools to clean under the seat cushions to get any bits of weed that may have fallen and collected over time.
- Get Shiggy With Your Shaggy
- Short, mid, and long-pile synthetic rugs with waterproof backings can be deep-cleaned with a rotary shampoo machine and a hot-water extraction machine. Rugs without backings, including Orientals, require professional cleaning.
Now that you have the practical, pragmatic blueprint to deep cleaning your home, what about deep cleaning your stash? Similar to a home, the most difficult part of pipe, bong, and accessory ownership is maintenance. It’s important to clean your pipe regularly for an optimal smoking experience. Without regular cleaning, pipes and bongs build up residue that leads to clogging and negatively affecting the flavor of your flower.
If you’ve been thinking about cleaning your bubbler, your bong, your dab rig, or your pipe, there’s no better time than now. There’s no downside to a clean smoking accessory. You’ll taste more flower and less resin. Plus, you’ll have a sense of pride when sharing your freshly cleaned bowl with a friend. Whether you prefer bong rips, vaping, dabbing, or chilling with a pipe, follow the tips below to keep your smoking accessories the cleanest they can be.
Vapes
Here’s the good news. It only takes a few minutes to clean a vaporizer — whether for dry flowers, oil, or concentrate. Start by unscrewing the chamber from the device and, using a cotton swab, remove any debris or residue by gently wiping the inside of it. If the mouthpiece is clogged, run it under warm water. Finish the process by using a slightly damp cloth or baby wipe to clean the outside of the vape before reassembling it.
Bongs
Part of knowing how to use a bong properly is knowing how to clean it. You can take care of a resin-filled bong with just a couple ingredients and some muscle. You’ll need rubbing alcohol, coarse Kosher and/or Epsom salt, and a few minutes to vigorously shake your bong. First, take your bong apart and pour the dirty water out, rinsing it thoroughly with clean, warm water. Next, add a handful of salt to the empty bong, pour in some alcohol, plug the stem with a cotton swab and cover the tube with a washcloth or paper towel placing your hand over the top and shaking vigorously until your bong looks new. If your bong is heavily coated with resin, you might need to repeat the process.
Cleaning a bong properly has benefits far beyond making it nicer to stare at. Stagnant bong water can host all kinds of bacteria and fungi. Yeasts and other microorganisms can also fester in dirty bong water. You’ll know that the water needs to be changed if it develops a top layer known as biofilm, which over time forms across the surface of the water and could harbor any number of pathogens, from Strep and E. coli to black mildew. When inhaled, these substances can lead to serious illness. Remember, one of the benefits of bongs is that they filter out harmful materials — but they can only accomplish that with clean water.
- Pipes
- Cleaning a pipe is a similar process to cleaning a bong; but instead, you’ll need a plastic bag with a resealable closure to get the job done. Give your pipe a good rinse with clean, warm water, then place it in the bag. Add a handful of salt, pour in some alcohol, securely close the bag and shake it vigorously until your pipe looks clean. Like a bong, if it doesn’t work the first time, you may need to repeat the process. You can also use pipe cleaners — and/or a toothbrush — to manually remove any stubborn resin. When done, be sure to rinse the pipe and let it dry before using it.
- Grinders
- Grab a toothbrush, pipe cleaners, cotton swabs, paperclip, and rubbing alcohol before starting. Tap both sides of your grinder to remove any pieces of debris. Use the toothbrush, pipe cleaners, and/or cotton swabs to remove any kief and/or resin. After cleaning, be sure to rinse the grinder and let it dry before using it.
- Dab Rig Nail
- With the same supplies as above, you can either scrape or wash your dab rig nail. Scraping is a good choice and can be done quickly with a paperclip or any other sharp object. If your nail has a lot of resin buildup, you can use rubbing alcohol and scrub the nail with a cotton swab and/or toothbrush.
- Rolling Trays
- Almost as important as all your other accessories, let’s not forget your rolling trays. Spray your rolling tray liberally with vinegar and then wipe down in the direction of the grain with a microfiber cloth, sponge, or paper towel. Soak your plastic trays in hot, soapy water for 5 – 10 minutes, or longer if required.
Like Fresh Cut Grass
Look at you! You’ve summoned your inner Martha and Snoop. You’ve deep cleaned your home and polished your smoking accessories. Now go ahead and take a deep breath of fresh air or inhale from your freshly cleaned bong, and feel that sense of accomplishment. It’s Springtime. A time for renewal. So, go ahead and fill that clean bowl of yours, because you know you can’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.